Friday, November 4, 2011

The Journey

I needed a place to post this, so this is as good a place as any.

In February, my wife had the first of four back surgeries that has still left her disabled. Trust me, without the surgeries, and the wonderful doctors, she would be much worse off. I am thankful for the care she has received. However, due to her disablement, she can no longer work a regular job. Sitting or standing for long periods of time are impossible. So she began working a network marketing job and has done so-so. I am proud of the effort and the drive she puts into it. She made me a believer in NM companies. But that is just one small part of the journey I am documenting here.

In April, after the four surgeries, she finally talked me into going to a church service with her. It was supposed to be a "how to get rich god's way" seminar but turned into a full blown healing and communion service for Easter. I have been anti-church for decades and I could see her flinch during the service. But a funny thing happened, it felt good. I felt better after the service than when it started. The mental certainty I had about the false need for church started to fade. She and I have not missed a service since that we were in town for. I could not be happier, and it has strengthened our marriage.

But we found out that without my wife's job, we could not keep our house. So we had to put it on the market and get ready (mentally) to move. It took three long months to get the offer and get ready to move. But we are there, and are 12 days from actually hitting the road. We had to "short-sell" our house, which means we market the property, get it ready and get the best offer the market will bear. The offer then goes to the bank and they accept partial payment for the home and clears the loan. This is normally a 60-120 day effort.... it happened for us in 14 days. Going along with this is some guilt that we feel over not meeting our obligations, but with the house selling for 90% of the original purchase price (7 years ago), and after 10's of thousands of dollars put in to it, I do not feel bad. The banks brought much of this pain upon themselves. I feel blessed, I just got almost a $1,000,000 debt forgiveness. How many people can say that?

Tonight, I hit a red-eye flight to the state we are going to be moving to. It's 1800 miles away and will mean a huge lifestyle change. This change is causing stress, and I understand that. I forgive that. I expect more. I will rent a house for us and on the 17th of this month, we hit the road. Oh what an adventure!!!!

I feel bad about leaving recently re-found friends, and the church we have grown into. But in order to grow as a person, you have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone, and Tina and I are doing just that.

I am very thankful for my wife, and my son. They have been standing together with me all through this. It is not always easy, and there have been some loud agreements, but we are there. The journey so far has shown me how important my family is to me, and how important my church is to me. It has also shown me that I cannot make everyone happy, I don't intend to try. If people can't handle my choices, that's their problem. If other people aren't ready to grow, or accept my growth, too bad. I am not going to slow down to satisfy them. I owe it to myself, my family, and to the growing kingdom of god that I see to become the best man I can.

I have also signed up as a Independent Business Owner for a NM company myself. Talk about personal growth. You have to get used to some serious rejection, that isn't easy. However, for each no I get, I know I'm closer to that truly magical "yes". Some of those "no"s have been painful, especially those from my direct family. However, I'm sure that success will bring them around.

Through all of this, I find myself being much more of a philosopher. I look for the good in things and try to focus on them. I try to stay positive. I'm not successful all the time, heck, maybe not even most of the time, but I keep trying. So I'll part with one piece of philosophy, "He who stops being better, stops being good." I believe that was a quote of Henry David Thorough.

So, expect updates on the journey, even the journey inside the journey.

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